


Lonely Love

by Neymarisdaddyaf



Series: Adventures of Cris and Leo [10]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Cris doesn't go to Juve, M/M, Messi - Freeform, Relationship Study, Ronaldo - Freeform, just guys being dudes, official sequel, whats better than that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-07-02 10:07:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 8,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15794331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neymarisdaddyaf/pseuds/Neymarisdaddyaf
Summary: Leo and Cris' relationship progresses and neither knew what they were getting into.(Official Sequel to We'll Get There)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My friend wrote her own sequel to "We'll Get There" called "The Distance Between Us." So check it out if you want to. But this is the OFFICIAL sequel.

Lionel Messi wasn’t nervous. Why would he be nervous? It was just he and Cris having dinner together. Something they had done countless times in the past. 

 

Except it wasn’t just he and Cris having dinner. It was he and Cris having dinner together because it was their first _date_. 

 

Leo stared at himself in the mirror. No matter how hard he tried, the same few strands of hair refused to stay in place. They flop back down to his forehead and into his eyes. Looking down to his beard, he noticed a few places he had missed when trimming it and why did it seem his ears had grown overnight? 

 

Sighing in annoyance, he looked at his watch. Cristiano should be here any minute now. 

 

**

Cristiano grinned down at Leo, who had just opened the door. 

 

Dressed in an olive colored button down and a pair of black jeans, Leo looked amazing. Cris felt his throat go dry. 

 

“Hey.” Leo looked up at him, eyes crinkling slightly. 

 

Cristiano leaned forward and kissed Leo’s cheek, “hey.” 

 

Even on Leo’s dimly lit doorstep, Cris could still see the color of Leo’s face turn pink. 

 

**

Cris and Leo were sitting across from each other at the table, eating the dinner Leo had picked up for them and making small talk. 

 

Something about all of this felt awkward. The point of first dates was to get to know the other, but they already had that covered. They had done everything in reverse. 

 

Leo had sighed and leaned back in his chair, “this doesn’t feel right, does it?” 

 

Cris smiled, “I was thinking the same thing.” 

 

Their dishes were left abandoned as Leo and Cris played FIFA in the living room. 

 

**

 

“I’ll see you in the morning.” Leo yawned, ready for bed. 

 

“Yeah. Good night.” 

 

They both didn’t move from their spots. Leo shifted from one foot to the other. 

 

“You know-” He began, rubbing his arm, “you don’t have to stay in the guest bedroom.” 

 

Cristiano chuckled, “okay.”


	2. Chapter 2

“I thought you were supposed to leave today.” Leo mentioned the morning after their date. 

 

Cristiano was pulling clothes out of his suitcase. “No, I have today and tomorrow with you.” 

 

Cris stood up and pecked Leo, who had been watching Cris flitter around the bedroom. 

 

“What about your shoot? I thought-” Leo’s words were silenced by another peck. 

 

“I rescheduled. It didn’t seem right to fly all the way down here and only stay a night.” 

 

Cristiano walked into the bathroom leaving Leo standing there, a little dumbfounded. 

 

Lionel felt a grin growing on his face. He couldn’t help but feel touched that Cris had done that for him. 

 

He heard the shower turn on and then Cristiano’s head popped back into view. 

 

“You not coming?” A large smirk plastered on his face. 

 

Leo’s face turned a bright red, “go take your shower.” He snapped, embarrassed. 

 

The Portuguese turned back into the bathroom and Leo could hear him laughing over the sound of the shower. 

 

Though, now that Leo thought about it, the idea did sound a little appealing. The only thing that kept him from joining, was that he _knew_ once he got in there, Cristiano would let his eyes travel all over his body and he would make some sort of comment.

 

Leo was sure he would die of embarrassment before he could get out of that shower.

 

Leo bit his lip and looked back at the bathroom door. _Fuck it._ He thought to himself, moving towards the door. Honestly, that wouldn't be the worst way to die.


	3. Chapter 3

Cristiano ran a finger up and down Leo’s arm. 

 

Leo’s head was nestled between his shoulder and neck, with one arm thrown over his abdomen. 

 

“Leo?” Cris called out, hoping he wasn’t already asleep.

 

“Yeah?” Leo answered, voice laced with sleep. 

 

“Do you think we could ever tell anyone? Like our families or teams?” 

 

Cristiano didn’t miss the way Leo’s breathing hitched slightly. 

 

“It’s a bit early to think about that, don’t you think?” Leo yawned and pressed closer. “We only started seeing each other a few months ago.” 

 

It was three months to be exact. Cris could never forget the night Leo came over and they confessed to each other. 

 

Cris’ finger stopped, “I didn’t mean soon. Just in general.” 

 

It took Leo a while to respond. When he did, his voice was so soft, Cris wouldn’t have heard him if he wasn’t so close.

 

“I don’t know.” Well at least he was truthful. 

 

“I wouldn’t worry about it right now, Cris. We’ll have plenty of time to think about that later.” 

 

Cristiano didn’t say another word. Leo’s breathing had slowed and he was squirming anymore, signaling that he had fallen asleep. 

 

It took Cris much longer to fall asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

“Our first Clasico together. I’m excited.” Cris said over the phone one night. 

 

Leo’s brow furrowed, “we’ve played a ton of Clasicos together. Why is this one any different?” 

 

“This is our first one _together_!” Cristiano emphasized. 

 

Lionel felt stupid for not realizing that is what he had meant. “Oh. Right.” 

 

Cris’ light laughter brought a small smile on Leo’s face; His stomach pooling with warmth. 

 

“So, how many goals should I secretly dedicate to you?” Ronaldo teased. 

 

“I would say at least one but-” Cris could hear the smirk in Leo’s voice, “we both know you won’t be able to get one past Marc.” 

 

Leo wished he was there to see his boyfriend’s expression. It would’ve been a mixture of shock, wounded ego and offense. 

 

“You are not the same person I remember being friends with. What happened to my sweet, innocent Leo?” 

 

“Gone. It’s your fault.” 

 

They were both grinning over the phone. 

 

“How about we make this more fun?” 

 

Leo was almost too afraid to ask what Cristiano was thinking. “Okay?” 

 

“I bet that I’ll score at least once and Real will win.” 

 

“And I bet I’ll score at least once, winning Barcelona the game.” Leo challenged. 

 

“Winner gets to choose his prize.” 

 

“Of course.”

 

“I’ve already got something in mind.” 

 

Leo tilted his head even though no one was there to see, “what is it?” 

 

“Oh, you know _exactly_ what I have in mind.” 

 

A flush spread across Leo’s body. He groaned. Yeah, he knew what Cris wanted. He felt embarrassed just thinking about it.

 

Just then an idea popped into Leo’s head, “well, I have something in mind for when I score.” 

 

Leo explained what he expected from Cris when he scored. 

 

Once Leo had finished speaking, Cris chuckled softly, “you really have changed.”


	5. Chapter 5

Cristiano was always mesmerized when he watched Lionel play. The way his body curved, arched and twisted. 

 

Cris both loved and hated the way Leo moved across the Bernabéu pitch as if he owned it. 

 

Lionel had made a fool of Real in the opening minutes of the game. Cris had watched as Leo danced around the defenders and netted a goal that no one should’ve been able to make. 

 

It wasn’t until the second half that Madrid made a comeback. Modric just barely able to tap it in past Ter Stegen. 

 

The game seemed like it was going to end in a tie. Both Messi and Ronaldo were driving for a goal. They both had a bet to win, after all. 

 

It was Cristiano that scored the tie breaker. It was the kind of goal that left the stadium stunned for a moment before erupting into loud cheering. 

 

**

 

After the game, while the players shook hands, Cris wanted so badly to pull Leo close and kiss him. 

 

He brought Leo in for a small hug when their hands were clasped. 

 

“I told you I would score the winner.” Cris whispered in his ear. 

 

Leo’s hand tightened around his, “so you did.” Was the cool reply. 

 

“I’ll see you soon.” Then Cristiano was gone, leaving Leo feeling breathless and anxious for the night. 

 

**

 

“We had a deal, Leo. You have to wear it.” 

 

Leo hated the large smirk on Cristiano’s face. He glared down at the white fabric in his outstretched hand. 

 

“I’ll wear it, I just don’t see the point in wearing it _right now_.” Leo was bright red. His blush went all the way down his bare chest. 

 

“It doesn’t matter if you see a point in it or not. All that matters is that it was the deal and I won.” 

 

Cris pushed the jersey to Leo’s chest. 

 

Leo couldn’t look him in the eye as he took the shirt and slipped it over his head. The fabric was light and it engulfed him. 

 

A shiver ran down Leo’s spine when he felt Cris’ lips against his jaw. 

 

Those lips traced along his jaw and to the shell of his ear. 

 

Cristiano’s canines tugged slightly on his ear, as he jerked Leo so their hips were flush against each others. 

 

Leo arched slightly and brought Cris’ mouth down to his own in a harsh kiss. 

 

It took all of Cristiano’s will power to pull Leo back, “not so fast. We have all night and I am going to enjoy every minute of it.” He replied, breath ghosting over the other’s lips. 

 

Leo looked up at him, eyes full of defiance, “you better. It’s never going to happen again.” 

 

Chuckling, Cris forced Leo’s back against the wall. 

 

Leo groaned when a hand was tangled in his hair, jerking his head back so it was hitting the wall, his Adams apple protruding. 

 

“You know I always get what I want.” Cristiano managed to grab both of Leo’s wrists in his hand and pinned them above his head. 

 

Leo grinned at him, teeth catching the light. He liked this side of his boyfriend. 

 

**

 

Through the a lot of the night, Leo felt a little weird about that white jersey.

 

It wasn’t until Cris had one hand gripping his hip tightly and the other one was on the back of his neck, pressing his cheek into the pillows, that he realized that he didn’t really regret making that bet. 

 

Nor did he really mind wearing that white jersey.


	6. Chapter 6

Cristiano didn’t really know when coming out became a constant thought. He had thought about it before, quite a bit, but it wasn’t _always_ on his mind. 

 

Thinking back on it, Cris blames Sergio. 

 

The Spaniard had announced his wife was pregnant with their 3rd child. After being congratulated by the team, Sergio had jokingly asked Cris when he was going to find a nice girl to settle down with. 

 

For the past week all Cris could think of is building a life with Leo. Retiring with him, buying a house together, getting married and having kids. 

 

Cristiano loved the idea of using a surrogate and having kids that looked like he and Leo. Though, he could see Leo being a strong advocate for adopting. 

 

Of course before any of that could happen, they would have to make their relationship known to the public. That idea was both terrifying and exciting. 

 

He did want to come out eventually. But was Leo, that he didn’t know about. The Argentine was so shy, private and reserved, Cris didn’t know if Leo would ever be ready to tell the world. 

 

Ronaldo knew he was thinking a little far ahead. The two of them had only been together five months. But he couldn’t stop thinking about waking up to Leo every morning, in _their_ house and getting up to make breakfast for _their_ kids.

 

Cristiano wasn’t about to mention any of this to his boyfriend. He could only imagine the disaster that conversation would cause.


	7. Chapter 7

Leo felt his body tingle at the sight of Cristiano’s wide smile over the screen of his laptop. 

 

“Six months already. Can you believe that?” 

 

No, Leo couldn’t believe it. Their six month anniversary was coming up in 3 days. 

 

“It feels a little surreal, honestly.” He replied, softly. 

 

Cris’ smile dropped, “I wish we could spend it together.” 

 

“Me too.” 

 

The two of them were silent. Leo was looking down at his hands and Cris’ eyes followed the lines of frustration written on his boyfriend’s face. 

 

Their schedules just didn’t allow for them to spend the day together. 

 

Cristiano sighed, “I had it all planned out. I’d take you to the best restaurant in Barcelona. Then we’d go back home and I would make you forget about everything except me.” 

 

Leo didn’t miss the way Cris had called his house, _home_. It was probably just a slip of the tongue but Leo couldn’t stop imagining sharing a home with Cris. 

 

“So your plan was to wine and dine me in hopes of getting lucky?” 

 

Cris smirked, “would you have objected?” 

 

“It would depend on how well dinner had gone.”

 

Even though Leo had a small smile on his face, Cristiano could see the disappointment and unhappiness written in his brown eyes and it killed him.


	8. Chapter 8

Leo woke up this morning as if it was any other day. He went through his pregame morning ritual as if it was any other day. It _felt_ like any other day. But today was so much more.

 

It was Lionel and Cristiano’s six month anniversary. 

 

Cris had sent him an overly mushy text this morning. Followed by a less mushy good luck text. Leo had a small, unconscious smile on his face for the rest of the morning and even on his way to Camp Nou.

**

Just like every other game, Leo could hear his blood pumping whilst standing in the tunnel. 

 

The desire to win was there like always but it was different this time. He had to win this game. Cristiano had told him to win for the both of them. 

 

On the field, Leo could see the usual mass of cameras and he wondered if Cristiano was watching. 

**

8-2. 

 

Lionel couldn’t have asked for a better turnout. He had scored two of the goals and would’ve gotten a third but he had chosen to give Suarez his penalty.

 

Leo stayed on the pitch, shaking hands and making conversation with everyone. Though, all he wanted to was to head home and call Cris. 

 

Getting off the pitch was difficult but getting away from his teammates was even more so. 

 

They had been practically begging him to come out and celebrate with them. It took Leo repeating how tired he was, to get away. 

 

The drive home was quiet and Leo tried ignoring the lingering loneliness that seemed to sneak up on him in moments like these. It used to be that he enjoyed being alone and lost in his own solitude. Companionship was never something he craved. Well, that was until a certain Portuguese wormed his way inside Leo’s life as well as his heart. 

 

Once Leo pulled into his drive, he immediately noticed light pouring through his windows. His heart rate spiked at the sight. He knew for a fact that all of his lights were off before leaving today. 

 

His anxiety was through the roof as he made his way up the steps and inside the house. Someone had managed to get in without tripping the alarm but so far there was no sign of them. 

 

Leo quietly made his way through the living room, taking note that nothing seemed out of place. Shuffling could be heard from the kitchen and Leo’s eyes went wide, while his hands had become clammy. 

 

On deft feet, Lionel peeked into the kitchen. Broad shoulders were slightly hunched over his stove. 

 

“Cristiano?” Leo moved into the entryway now. 

 

The man in question turned around quickly. “What are you doing here?” Cris’ deep voice had Leo’s arms prickling with goosebumps. 

 

“I live here.” Leo’s brows furrowed and he crossed his arms, “why are you here?” 

 

This really wasn’t the welcome Cristiano had expected. He was expecting more hugging, laughing and definitely more kissing than what was actually happening right now. 

 

“I wanted to surprise you. I thought you’d be back later.” 

 

Lionel looked around the disaster that was his kitchen for the first time. Silverware and cookware was scattered in the sink and on the counters. A pot looked dangerously close to boiling over on the stove. 

 

“Are you-” Leo’s mouth twitched upwards and he could feel a laugh bubbling up. He took in his boyfriend’s appearance. Face flushed, pieces of hair stuck to his forehead and a yellow-ish batter like substance was smeared on his cheek. 

 

“Are you _cooking_?”

 

As if to make the situation more comical, that’s when the pot behind Cris had begun to boil over, causing him to jump at the sudden hissing noise. 

 

Cris moved the pot over and turned back to Leo with a sheepish smile and one hand rubbing the back of his neck. 

 

Lionel just couldn’t hold it in anymore. What started as a chuckle was now full blown laughter. 

 

Cristiano covered the distance between them and hugged a still laughing Messi. Leo wrapped his arms around Cris’ waist and his laugh died down when he pressed his cheek to Cris’ shoulder. 

 

“It was supposed to be a nice surprise. If you would’ve just come home when you were supposed to.” Cristiano grinned, playfully.

 

Leo pulled back to look up at Cris. “I am so sorry.” He leaned up enough to press their lips together in a soft kiss. 

 

“Though, it was a nice surprise to see you didn’t burn down my kitchen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> College, man. Sorry about the delay.


	9. Chapter 9

The morning after their anniversary was slow and drawn out. Lionel had woken up by sunlight coming through his sheer drapes. He was pressed into Cristiano’s warm side and soft snoring could be heard from the him. Leo sighed, content and pressed his nose to Cris’ shoulder. 

 

It was moments like these that made every hardship that came with their relationship, worth it. The distance, the crazy schedules, and the secrecy, all worth it if it they could have moments like these. Moments that had Leo falling in love with Cris all over again. 

 

Even though Leo was happier now than he had been in a while, his brain began imagining how differently last night could’ve gone. If one of his teammates had come back to his house after the game to see Cristiano Ronaldo standing in his kitchen cooking, there would be no way to explain his way out of that one. Everyone knew the two were close but they weren’t _that_ close. Even if Lionel was able to talk himself out of it, it would bring everything the two did under scrutiny. It would raise to many suspicions. He needed to talk to Cris about this. Just not right now. No, right now he was too warm and too comfortable to do anything but fall back asleep. 

 

**

 

Cristiano’s eyes cracked open at the sound of his phone alarm. Leo’s head was resting under his chin. He didn’t budge at the sound of the alarm. Cris didn’t want to move but he really needed to get ready to head back to Madrid today. 

 

He tried carefully peeling away from Leo, but the other man let out a small noise of protest. Cris froze but Leo’s eyes didn’t open, instead he curled up on the opposite side of the bed. 

 

Seizing the opportunity, Cristiano fled to the bathroom for a shower. 

 

Something Cris had noticed was how introspective he got whenever he was in the shower. He would zone out and think hard on one subject most of the time. Which was exactly what was happening right now.

 

Was it any surprise that it was Leo, who was occupying his thoughts? They had just hit their six month mark and now Cris was thinking about what would happen when things began to get more serious. He felt like he was ready to come out, not to the public but to his family or maybe one of his close friends. So far he wasn’t able to tell how Leo felt about the coming out thing. It was always hard to gauge Leo’s opinions about things. Cris decided he would talk to Lionel about it before he left today. 

 

**

 

“I don’t want you to leave.” Leo’s voice was muffled by the fabric of Cris’ shirt. The taller man had to leave for the airport in about an hour. Leo had hugged Cristiano from behind and buried his face into his back while he was packing. 

 

“We’ll see each other soon. You play Atletico soon, right?” Cris heard Leo hum in agreement, he hadn’t budged from his spot. 

 

“We’ll see each other afterwards. You can come over or I can come to your hotel.” 

 

The silence that spread across the room seemed like a perfect opportunity for Cristiano to try and talk to Leo. Just as Cris opened his mouth to speak, Leo had spoken up. 

 

“Can we talk about something?” The entire atmosphere around them had shifted. 

 

“Of course.” 

 

Leo had moved away from him and Ronaldo turned so their eyes met. 

 

“We have to be more careful, okay? I know you had good intentions and believe me it was a good surprise but-” Leo couldn’t keep eye contact, “-it could’ve ended much differently.” 

 

Cristiano felt confused by his words. There was no way that Leo was actually upset about his surprise visit. “I don’t-” 

 

“If someone had come over, that would cause too many issues. No one can know about this, you know?” 

 

Cristiano felt his heart drop. Well, he finally knew how Leo felt about coming out. Cris supposed there was no reason for him to bring up the topic now. It would probably cause an argument. 

 

“You understand, right?” Hearing Leo speak again, brought Cris back down to reality. 

 

“Yeah. Of course.” Came the soft reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update two days in a row. Having free time fills me with anxiety that I am forgetting about something that's due. Oh well.


	10. Chapter 10

Cristiano knew he was acting somewhat distant since his return to Madrid and he knew Leo had noticed. As much as he tried to call more, text more, or keep the conversation flowing, there was something holding him down.

 

He felt...well he didn’t really know how to describe the way he felt. Just wrong. He also felt guilty for letting whatever he was feeling affect his relationship. He shouldn’t be upset at Leo for not being ready to tell someone about them. And he wasn’t upset, not really. He was just irked at how Leo’s words implied that Cris couldn’t tell anyone yet either. Not his family nor his closest friends. 

 

Cristiano was a very prideful person, even he’ll admit that. Hiding their relationship made it seem almost shameful, in a way and just that thought would have hot irritation spike through his veins. He wasn’t ashamed of his relationship. He wasn’t ashamed of Lionel and he sure as hell wasn’t ashamed of who he was. 

 

This whole thing made Cris feel like he was going mad. The deep rooted love he had for Leo battling with that searing irritation whenever he was talking with his boyfriend. The only way he had come up with to minimize harm to the relationship was to cut back on their communication. He didn’t want to accidentally say something to hurt the person he cared for most just because he was impulsive and bad at handling his emotions.


	11. Chapter 11

Lionel wished the shift in their relationship had been gradual and broken up over the course of months or years. The kind of drifting apart that neither one notices until they are sitting alone together with nothing to say and continues to worsen over time. It takes sharing a bed and yet feeling as if they were miles apart, for them to realize they’ve fallen out of love. 

 

To Leo, that seems like it would hurt a lot less than this. Right off the bat Leo noticed Cristiano’s taciturn behavior. At first, Leo tried brushing it off. Telling himself that it meant nothing. But the longer it persisted, the more he realized it wasn’t nothing. He tried pushing more. Putting more effort into calling or texting but that just seemed to drive Cris further back. 

 

Racking his brain, Leo couldn’t figure out what exactly had gone awry. Leo had come to one final conclusion. Cristiano wanted space. He wanted space from their relationship; Space from Lionel. 

 

With that thought, Leo felt an all too familiar icy dread wash over him. This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. The girlfriend he had throughout a large chunk of his young adulthood had left him down on one knee, claiming she needed her space and time to think. She had left and she didn’t come back. The situations were not the same, obviously, but even the small similarities stuck out and unnerved him. 

 

Leo wondered what it was about himself that seemed to drive his partners away. There had to be something wrong with him.

 

As if those thoughts weren’t harsh enough, his overactive mind kept telling him that Cristiano was aware of the pain he was putting Leo thorough and yet he continued anyways. And it was that thought that really fucking _hurt_.

 

Regardless, Leo couldn’t bring himself to do anything about it. If Cris needed space, then Leo would give it to him.


	12. Chapter 12

Cristiano knew he was to blame for the cut in their communication. But now it seemed like they barely speak to each other. Leo had receded back into himself. Only speaking to Cris, when the Portuguese man initiated it. Cristiano tried burying his annoyance and exasperation. He didn’t want to start a fight, all he was looking for was a little effort on Leo’s part. Something that showed him that Leo was willing to fight for what they had. 

 

This whole situation was somewhat ridiculous, Cris knows that. It was kind of his fault to begin with. If he had just spoken his mind all those weeks ago, this very well could have been avoided. But he didn’t speak his mind and now they were here. Wherever _here_ is. Cris also knew that he could easily solve this tension between them by speaking up now. The thing is, he didn’t really want to do that anymore. His stubbornness and pride wouldn’t let him be the first one to give in. No, he wants to see what lengths Leo is willing to go for them. So the silence between them stretches on. 

 

**

 

Leo spent his days on the pitch and his nights lying in bed wondering what exactly is wrong with himself, to drive all of his partners away. All he wants is for Cristiano to talk to him. Tell him what to do to fix this. 

 

As the night would go on, his thoughts would turn darker. Like clockwork, it happened every night. Leo felt as though he deserved to go through this aching pain, because it showed him why he had shut himself off from love, relationships and anything stronger than friendship. Nothing in life is constant, especially people. He had gone through this same pain so many times before. The people he grows to care for the most, always leaves. That’s just how it is. After his last relationship, he had shut himself off completely and it was working well for him. He was as happy as someone like that could be, but then came Cristiano Ronaldo, who was all charm and bright smiles. 

 

Leo would fall asleep feeling resentment towards himself but also towards Cris for being the one to make him feel this way. Then in the morning it would take every last bit of willpower to not call or message Cristiano first. He still needed his space, after all.


	13. Chapter 13

Lionel had called Cristiano the night after the game that named Real Madrid champions of La Liga. Over the months leading up to this game their relationship didn’t seem to worsen. Not to Leo anyways. Instead it kept the same amount of tension and unwillingness to communicate on a regular basis. A few phone calls during the week and light messaging but nothing more. Leo was still confused as to what exactly what was going on. All he knew is that some nights, he would get a call or message from Cris that brought a smile to his face and most other nights he would get nothing. Sometimes Cris could be so sweet and other times he was short and snappy. Leo took all of it. 

 

He soaked in all of the sweet or loving comments Cris would give him. As well as staying silent and taking all of the sarcastic and borderline rude remarks Cris also threw his way. 

 

As Leo waited for his boyfriend to answer, he wondered which Cris he would get to speak to tonight. 

 

“Hey Leo.” His ears perked up at the sound of Cris’ voice. No matter this odd pushing and pulling game they were playing right now, Leo’s heart always swelled when he heard Cristiano’s voice for the first time that day. 

 

“Hey.” His reply came out shy and soft. 

 

“I didn’t think you’d call.” For a second neither of them said anything. They just listened to each other’s breathing. “I’m glad you did.” 

 

And it was something about the way Cris said those simple words. Or maybe it was all of the tension finally bubbling over, that caused Leo’s eyes to water and his throat to feel hoarse. 

 

“Cris, can I come see you?” Cringing at how watery and weak his words were.

 

And Cristiano didn’t ask what was wrong. He didn’t ask why Leo sounded like he was on the verge of tears because he _knew_ why.

 

“Yeah.” And then Cris made a decision. “We should talk.” He was finally done with this game. He swallowed his pride and let himself be the one to give in.


	14. Chapter 14

Cristiano looked down at his watch for what seemed like the 100th time the past hour. He hadn’t been able to sit still since Leo had texted him earlier, saying his plane was about to land. Cris had no idea what the coming hours held for them. He couldn’t even guess what Leo would say. God, he didn’t even know what _he_ was going to say. 

 

Normally, he wasn’t one to want to fight, but something about this whole thing just had him itching to start something. He wasn’t thinking rationally or logically and he knew Leo would do both of those things. For whatever reason, that made him more irritated. 

 

**

 

It felt as if all of the air had been sucked from the room. Leo was looking down at his shoes. He could feel Cristiano’s eyes burning into him. It was obvious that Cris was waiting for him to speak up first. 

 

Lionel cleared his throat and brought his eyes up to meet the other. “What is happening right now?” He blurted out the first thing that came to mind. Leo could only see anger behind Cris’ eyes. 

 

“I was mad. I _am_ mad.” Cris changed his words. Furrowing his brows, Leo couldn’t keep the eye contact anymore. He still didn’t understand. 

 

“What did I do?” His voice was quiet and filled with pain. A scoff from Cris, bit into him. He brought his eyes back to the taller man to see him now glaring at the wall next to his head. 

 

“The fact you don’t know-” Cris cut that sentence off with a shake of his head. Leo was pinned with a hard look, “are you embarrassed of what we have?” 

 

“What?” Leo’s heart rate increased from rising panic, “no.” 

 

“If that were true then you would let me tell someone.” Pieces started to come together. Leo recalled what he had told Cris months ago. He had never meant to hurt Cris. 

 

“You could have told me. Why didn’t you?” 

 

“Would it have mattered?” 

 

Leo wanted to open his mouth and tell him, ‘yes of course it would have mattered,’ but those words wouldn’t come out because would it have really mattered? He still didn’t want anyone to know. 

 

Cris noticed Leo’s silence and that’s when he stopped struggling to keep his voice calm or his emotions in check. 

 

“That’s what I thought. Why does it seem like I’m the only one trying here? The only one really fighting.” If looks could kill, Cris would be dead on the spot. Leo’s eyes were narrowed and a deep scowl was written across his face. 

 

“You don’t think I’m fighting? I’m-” 

 

“No, I don’t.” Cristiano cut Lionel off. The two of them glared at each other. He could see Leo clenching and unclenching his hands. “I wanted to see if you were actually going to put effort into making this work. But I guess I got my answer because you just went silent on me. I was still the one who had to start conversations.” 

 

“I thought you wanted space. I was trying to respect that.” Leo was beginning to feel exasperated. And then it hit him, “we went all this time barely speaking because you were _testing_ me?” Disbelief flooded his body. So it seemed like Cris was fully aware of how much he was hurting Leo, but didn’t care. “You need to understand that I’m not ready for people to know. I might not ever be ready.” 

 

“And that’s the problem.” 

 

Leo just felt so fed up at this point. Cris was the one to stop speaking but he is blaming what Leo had said for that. And when Leo had tried to respect Cris’ space, no matter how hard it was, apparently it showed the Portuguese just how unwilling Leo was to fight for their relationship. It seemed no matter what Messi did, he was always in the wrong and he was done with it. 

 

Lionel had to take a deep breath and force his next words out. “We need some time.” Cris could feel his heart drop at those words. He knew what was coming next even though he prayed it wouldn’t come. “To think.” Leo continued speaking, making sure to keep his voice devoid of feelings. “Apart.”


	15. Chapter 15

Cristiano had watched Leo leave that night. He had watched him leave and he didn’t do a single thing to stop him. His arms stayed glued by his side and his mouth was pressed into a straight line. 

 

Even more upsetting is that when Cris looked to Leo, expecting to see some sort of emotion in his eyes, he was met with an icy stare. That stare combined with Lionel’s words was to blame for Cris’ lack of sleep. Tossing and turning all night, wanting nothing more than to call Leo and apologize. 

 

Apologize for not talking to him when he should have. Apologize for using those months as some sort of test. And especially apologize for forgetting that Leo wasn’t an overly romantic guy. Cris shouldn’t have expected him to make grand gesture to show that he was putting effort into their relationship. 

 

A week after Leo had left Cris standing alone in his home, the Madrid forward realized Leo was making an effort in his own way. He had misread Cris’ silence as a need for space and tried to respect that by giving him as much as possible, even if it was both painful and confusing for him. Now it seemed like the roles have been reversed. It was Leo who needs time and space to think and Cris wants to respect that, he really does. 

 

He had acted like a complete idiot, he fully accepted that. He imagined many different scenarios of how he could be spending his end of season break, if only he and Leo had just talked to each other. But instead they let this all build up and turn into something ugly. Cris had wanted to start a fight. He wanted to see his words hurt the other man. All because Leo had made a comment that got under his skin and the worst part is, Leo hadn’t even meant it to come off that way. It was no wonder the Argentine had been so confused and just assumed Cristiano randomly wanted space. 

 

So here Ronaldo was, feeling like the biggest jerk ever. He wanted Leo to respect his desire to come out to someone he was really close to, but he never really took into consideration Leo’s side. He didn’t think to listen and understand Leo’s need for secrecy. If only they had _talked_ this out, then they would’ve found a happy compromise. That’s one of the things they were best at, after all. Now Messi probably thinks he is an overly conceited asshole, who can’t take a minute to see how someone else feels. And the more Cris thinks about it, he absolutely deserves that. 

 

Cristiano’s head felt like it was going to explode from the lack of sleep and the fact he spent every waking moment, trying to figure out how he was going to fix all of this.


	16. Chapter 16

Lionel had told Cristiano that he wanted time apart to think and that’s all he has done the past two weeks. He felt like he was going crazy from staying cooped up in his home so long. It had been raining everyday since Leo had gotten back to Barcelona. Usually he loved the rain. Feeling the cool droplets hit his skin, cooling him down after the hot Spanish sun burned his skin. But it was different now. Cristiano had given him too many new memories and feelings associated with rainy days. 

 

_“Leo, you’re going to get sick if you stand out there all day!” Cristiano shouted over the roar of the rain. He was standing on Leo’s covered patio overlooking the lush grass of his backyard. A small smile played on his features, watching his boyfriend juggle a football from one knee to the other._

_“Come on, Cristiano! It feels great!” Leo had grinned over at Cris, letting the ball drop to the ground. Leo watched as Cristiano looked up at the sky, sighed overdramatically and then walk out over the soaked grass, to stand in front of him._

_“You don’t even have shoes on. Idiot.” Ronaldo had bent down enough to press their foreheads together. Leo stared into Cris’ brown eyes and even with the cold rain, his body felt warm. He let out a soft laugh when the other man nudged his nose with his own. “You’re going to be sick by tomorrow.”_

_Cris brought his hands up to the side of his face and kissed him. It was the definitely the most cliche moment Leo had ever experienced but he loved every second of it._

 

The memory didn’t bring a smile to his face like it had many times before. Instead it knotted his stomach and caused his eyes to burn. He hated feeling like this. He hated everything that had let up to this. But he did not hate Cristiano. No, Leo didn’t think he would ever be able to hate that man, but sometimes he really wished he could.


	17. Chapter 17

“Okay, Lionel. You just need to pick up your phone and tell him.” Leo muttered under his breath. He was glaring down at his phone on the kitchen bar. It’s very presence, seemingly mocking him. 

 

Break was coming to an end. Leo has spent almost every second of it overthinking. But he had come to a decision. It wasn’t an easy one to come to. Hell, he didn’t even know if it was the right one. All he knew was that it made the most sense right now. 

 

Not once had he spoken to Cristiano. Leo wondered what Cris had been up to the past month and a half. 

 

**

 

Dressed in nothing but a Nike sweatshirt and a pair of jeans, Cristiano waited for his plane to touch down in Barcelona. 

 

During the course of the break, he himself had done quite a bit of thinking and come to a decision of his own. What had happened between he and Leo had been ridiculous and incredibly childish. He’s owned up to it, sorry for it and ready to get things back to normal. 

 

It was fair to say they have their issues like every couple, but they can work through them. Cris really didn’t know what the future held for them and he didn’t really care to think about it. He wasn’t a big picture guy, that was Leo’s thing. Cris focused on the moment. The here and now. And right here and right now, he wanted Leo. 

 

**

 

Leo had finally done it. After stalling for another hour or two, he had picked up his phone and was ready to call Cris. It had taken another few minutes for him to actually click on his contact and press call. Leo listened to the phone ring over and over again. Then there was Cris’ deep voice promising to get back with him as soon as possible, followed by a shrill beep. 

 

Hanging up, the Argentine huffed. Just as he was about to try again, the doorbell sounded through his house. 

He figured it was one of his teammates, Pique more than likely. So you can imagine his surprise when he opened the door and there stood the exact opposite of Gerard Pique.

 

“Cristiano?”

 

“Leo.”


	18. Chapter 18

Okay, so this isn’t how Leo had wanted this to go down. He had planned on a phone call. Given, it would’ve probably have been an extremely long phone call but there was something more impersonal about calling and that was exactly what he needed in order to go through with this. But this changes everything. Leo didn’t know how he was going to force himself to do this now. Especially with Cristiano looking at him, eyes filled with a soft hope. Leo noticed Cris’ mouth was moving, clearly talking, but Leo hadn’t caught any of it. 

 

“Huh?” 

 

“You didn’t hear a single thing I said, did you?” Cris didn’t sound even a little irritated.

 

“I was apologizing. For everything.” Cristiano’s eyes moved over Leo’s face, looking for a reaction but was met with a blank stare. “Tell me what you’re thinking.” 

 

Lionel blew out a puff of air. He wanted to do this in the least cruel way possible. “It was a little unrealistic to think this could have lasted, don’t you think?” So that wasn’t really what Leo had meant to start with and his plan to let Cris down gently was blown. 

 

Watching Cris’ face fall and that soft hope disappear, Leo wanted to tell Cris to forget what he had just said and of course everything can go back to normal. But he couldn’t do that. This would be better for the both of them in the end. 

 

“Leo -” The sound of the Portuguese man’s voice weighed down with unshed tears was the worst noise Leo could ever hear. 

 

He couldn’t stand to look at him anymore. Diverting his eyes to the floor, Leo continued, “I think this will be better for both of us.” 

 

It felt like the world was crumbling beneath Cristiano’s feet the longer Leo spoke. How could he possibly think that they would be better off without each other? 

 

“Please Leo, don’t do this. Everything will work out. I promise.” Cris didn’t care how pathetic he probably sounded borderline begging. 

 

“You can’t promise that, Cristiano.” Leo swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat. He was forcing tears of his own back down. “You’re going to want more from me and I just can’t-” Leo’s voice cracked, causing him to stop and clear his throat. “Don’t make this any harder, okay?” 

 

“That’s not-” Cris stepped closer to Leo but the other man took a step back. “Can you just look at me, please?” 

 

Leo had noticed a change in his voice. It was softer; More raw. When he brought his eyes from the ground back up Cris, he could see why he sounded like that. His eyes were red-rimmed and glassy with tears about to spill over. The sight was enough to have Leo’s throat feeling like it was closing up. The pressure behind his eyes was getting more intense as he continued to force his tears back. 

 

Right now, Lionel was sure this was the worst pain he has felt in a long time. Telling the man he was still completely in love with, that they were better off without each other, was an almost impossible task. But it needed to be done. They were just so different. The chances of this working out in the end were extremely thin and when the end inevitably came, it would hurt so much worse. He was just saving them the extra heartache. 

 

Really Leo was doing this _for_ Cris. He deserved a normal relationship that didn’t have to be kept a secret. He deserved someone with less emotional problems. He deserved someone that wasn’t Leo. 

 

“I don’t understand.” Leo hated seeing Cris look so vulnerable. "There's no way you could know that. And none of that should matter anyway. All that matters is that I love you and you love me.”

 

The next words out of Leo’s mouth were callous and untrue. But he said them, hoping it would help Cristiano to stop clinging to this and move on to someone who could make him happier than Leo ever could. 

 

He looked Cristiano in the eye and let the cold seep in his voice. “No I don’t. Not like I used to.”


	19. Chapter 19

For the longest time, all Cristiano could do was stare at Leo. His brain refused to form any coherent thoughts. But when his brain did finally catch up, it felt as if he had been stuck by thousands of little pins and needles. 

 

“You’re lying.” He choked out, angrily. He moved even closer to Leo, who turned his head to the side. Refusing to look at him once more. Cris was feeling too much of everything right now. His world had been shattered within a matter of minutes. The desperation to convince Leo to change his mind was overpowered by resentment. 

 

“How could you say that to me?” He used his palm to shove Leo’s shoulder. The smaller man kept his head turned and let himself be pushed back. 

 

The lack of response further annoyed Cristiano. “After everything we’ve done together.” He shoved Leo once more. Still no response. Cris’ throat felt raw and his eyes were burning. All he wanted was for Leo to at least _look_ at him. 

 

One last shove and Leo’s back was hitting the wall. That’s when he moved his head so that he could look Cris in the eye. As soon as their eyes finally met, Cris couldn’t hold it back anymore. His hand clutched onto the back of Leo’s shirt and his head was buried into the crook of Leo’s neck. 

 

“Leo.” Cristiano’s voice caught in his throat as tears streamed down his face and onto Lionel’s shirt. His shoulders were shaking and all he could do was clutch onto Leo. 

 

Lionel didn’t know what to do. He was frozen to the spot. Leo couldn’t remember the last time he had seen Cristiano cry like this, if ever. He wanted to bring his arms up and pull the hysterical man closer. But his arms stayed glued to his sides. This is what’s best for them in the end. Bringing up a hand to Cris’ chest, he tried to push him away gently but to no avail. Cris stayed latched on. 

 

To see someone like Cris, who rarely broke down or rarely cried in front of Leo or any others, reduced to this, was heartbreaking. When Leo had imagined how Cristiano would react, he imagined that Cris might’ve shed a few tears but not this. He didn’t think his words could hold this much power. Now he was torn. One part of him said it didn’t matter what happened in the future because right now they still have each other. The other part of him thought the exact opposite. As time went on, they would grow more and more attached and it would all come crashing down once reality hit. He was at a loss at how to handle this.

 

“Leo, please.” Cris stammered.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> End.

Leo hadn’t moved an inch since his back hit the wall. Cristiano still clung to him but at least he wasn’t crying anymore. Now he was reduced to sniffling. It was a miserable sight, to see the usually proud and laughing Portuguese man barely able to catch his breath between sobs. 

 

“Can you please say something?” Cris begged, brokenly. It felt as if all of Leo’s past conviction had been stolen from him. He was in a dangerous spot now, with only a very shaky will to continue with his previous plan. Cristiano would see through him in a heartbeat. He would see that Leo didn’t actually believe what he had said earlier. 

 

Lionel sighed and kept his tone soft as he spoke, “what do you want me to say?” 

 

“Just tell me you didn’t mean it.” Cristiano’s hand was now resting on the small of his back as he hugged Leo tighter. This brought back memories that Leo had all but forgotten about. 

 

_“Everyone thinks we hate each other. But we don’t do we, Leo?” Cris was leaning into his side so he could whisper._

_Lionel could smell his aftershave and the spearmint gum he must’ve been chewing earlier. His breath slightly caught in his throat. “I suppose not.” He wanted to get away. Away from Ronaldo’s inviting, warm presence and that captivating smell._

_“I’d even call us friends.” Cristiano put a hand on the middle of Leo’s back._

_“Acquaintances.” He corrected._

_“We’re a bit more than that don’t you think?”_

 

It’s was almost comical to think back when he and Cris had first began to really talk. Leo remembered how the simplest of touches from Ronaldo had his body filled with an unknown desire. He also remembered just how long it had taken for him to come to terms with said desires. Leo had been so scared of his feelings and of Cristiano but now that he literally had the man begging for him to stay, he was trying to run. 

 

_"There is so much I want to say to you." Leo bit his lip, "but I'm scared to."_

_Cris ran his thumb along the skin of Leo’s arm, “what are you scared of? It’s just me.”_

_Lionel squeezed his eyes shut, “that’s what scares me.”_

_“I’m scared too.”_

_Leo’s eyes opened back up, “of me?”_

_Cris let his hand drop from Leo’s arm, “yeah, you’re the most important person in my life.”_

 

Lionel’s eyes stung as he thought of that day. Everything had changed and for the first time in a long time, he had felt genuinely happy. Even then he knew that the odds were definitely stacked against them. It just wasn’t going to work. They weren’t going to work. 

 

Cristiano had pulled away slightly to look down at Leo, who could barely stand to look at the other. It’s not like Leo wanted to do this; It was necessary. “Cris-” Leo didn’t know why his throat felt so closed up, as if he was the one who had been crying. He put his palms flat against Cristiano’s chest and rested them there for a few moments. Deciding if he should push the other away or not. Cris was silent as he watched Leo battle with himself. 

 

Lionel’s hands slid across his chest and around to his back, pulling them so they were flush against one another. “I’m sorry.” He pressed his forehead to Cris' collarbone.

 

Even though the likelihood of this lasting was slim, Leo couldn’t bring himself to end it now. He blames Cristiano, who had obviously rubbed off on him, turning him into a hopeless romantic. But he found himself not caring when Cris was pulling him back to press a soft kiss to his lips. They have time to figure things out.


End file.
